;;;;

our passion;
it was fireworks on the fourth,
waves crashing on the shore.
for months and months
we woke up, side by side,
arms around one another
as if we were holding on
for dear life.
(or maybe we were just
holding on because
it felt good to have
something, someone,
to hold onto.)

our passion;
it fizzled out.
like my black dress faded to gray.
today we woke up, side by side,
with not a single word to say.
our arms would occasionally
wrap around one another,
wondering if the other really
even wanted to be there at all.
(we met in a place meant
for only tourists. we should
have known that it could
only be a temporary stay.)

....

you dig your fingers into my skin, and your lips trace all of my curves.
our legs are tangled tight just like the sheets around our bodies.
however, you can't deny this distance that is so rapidly growing between us.
hurry! quickly fill in the holes that our hearts have allowed to hollow.
"right there. that's it. you know that's how i like it, baby."
i'm beginning to feel like we're getting back on track,
or maybe this has become stictly out of habit.

one month.

your fingers trace every inch of my body
as your skin is pressed hard against mine.
i'm breathing in every second while biting my tongue
to hold back the words that we both know
we aren't ready to say...

and as i stare into your eyes,
sometimes, i swear...
i see nothing.

you are so contradicting.

my mind only races when i am breathing,
and my thoughts are only deep when my heart is beating.
i am afraid of nothing but what will happen next.

She always gave him more credit than he deserved.
The benefit of the doubt in even the worst of situations.
She always said, "His words hit like bullets in the chest."
But, she never realized that was his every intention.

I will try to help you up, I swear I will.
But my hands are already full.
At times I’m lost with no direction,
And all you care about is you.

But I’ll take the weight upon these small shoulders.
I’ll take the blame too.
I’ll be your lungs, I’ll help you inhale.
But what will you do when I’ve stopped breathing?

This is a two way situation, a game of give and take.
But you took the one way street.
I’m living your life and feeling your pain.
Somehow, I’ve let you get the best of me.

But I’ll take the weight upon these small shoulders.
I’ll take the blame too.
I’ll be your heart, I’ll keep the blood flowing.
But what will you do when I’ve stopped beating?

You’re so afraid of falling off the edge.
You’re so afraid of breaking the bend.
You’re so afraid of feeling again.
But what will you do when I’ve stopped leading you?
What will you do when I can’t take this anymore?

I’ll be your body, I’ll hold you upright.
But, what will you do when I fall?

...finally.

things are becoming more full of life.
the air smells sweeter, the sun feels warmer.
i rarely reminicse, i rarely feel sad.
i've decided to accept the fact that
you are perfectly content without me.
and i'm sick of wishing you missed me
half as much as i miss you.


..so, i won't.

Wishful thinking is surprisingly time consuming.

I listened daily to all of your excuses
And every lie that slipped through your teeth.
I let everyone around me think things were perfect,
That I belonged to you, and you belonged to me.

You would compliment me up and down,
But you would never break down your wall.
You confused me more with every second,
Yet I sat around waiting for you to call.

You kept me at a miserable distance
As I fought so hard to get close.
You are deathly afraid of falling,
So you'd rather spend your nights alone.

I'm sick of pretending we were something
And nothing at the same time.
I wish you would get your story straight
So I can write the ending for mine.

Maybe we were hiding what we truly felt,
What we really wanted the most.
I think neither of us are willing to admit
That we didn't and still don't know.

"you not only need it, you deserve it."

every word you say is true,
and i try so hard to believe you.
but i'm full from all the empty lines
that i've been fed so many times.

you were mine, and i was yours.
but we never let one another know.